Friday, July 25, 2014

Bagel Day Blues


Authors note: In several VFX houses it was common to have a Bagel Day one day a week, when Bagels and trimmings were provided for breakfast.  This custom may have started at ILM, but I know it was common at Digital Domain, R n H, and other facilities.  This letter was inspired by an incident at work.


Richard,

While I sympathize, to some extent, with your sense of loss and
heartbreak; I feel compelled to remind you of the greater significance
of Bagel Day and even of Bagels themselves.

Many, like yourself, become down heartened when every Bagel Day does not
meet with their preconceived notions of what Bagel Day should be. It is
helpful to remember that the true message of Bagel Day goes far beyond
the consumption of Bagels and their accoutrements. It is an exercise
in spiritual self discovery and the rejuvenation of the physical body.

Let us examine the lowly Bagel. It is made in the form of a circle,
which itself is symbolic of perfection. This tells us that a Bagel
alone, without tomatoes, cream cheese or margarine is already in a state
of perfect being. It is only our spiritual shortcomings that cause us
to desire a toasted Bagel, or the addition of cream cheese. Even a salt
Bagel is in an of itself perfect and a reminder that we are the salt of
the earth. The Rye Bagel teaches us to see the irony in life and the
sun dried Bagel teaches us of the warming love of our merciful creator.
Even the onion Bagel teaches us of the horrors of a life of sin and the
eternal perils that await us in the lake of fire if we do not live in
the grace of the Bagel.

Bagel day, as such, is a celebration of our common spirituality and is a
time for rejoicing and giving thanks for our life on this mortal coil.
Even the simplest fare is all that is really necessary for a true Bagel
Day to occur. Some of the faithful even use ordinary bread, when Bagels
are not available, and the gesture is received with equal grace by our
benevolent creator.

Richard, in conclusion I would like to remind you that we are all lucky
to have Bagels to toast. Let us not let our spiritual growth be
hindered by lustful desires for tomatoes, onions, or even Lox.

I appreciate your struggle and empathize with your confusion. But let
us remember that life is difficult, but with a true clarity of vision,
every Bagel Day can be a special as that very first one was all those 

many years ago.

I wish you peace, happiness, and many joyous Bagel Days to come!!

Your, ever loving Brother of the Bagel,

Bill






Richard wrote:
>
> This is a very sad holiday for all of us, I know.
> Due to the absence of sliced semi-ripe tomatoes, I urge you all to
> boycott the Bagel Day Parade.
> The Bagel Fairy is the cause of much suffering today. She simply put
> down a basket of UN-EVENLY sliced bagels, a tub of margarine and a vat
> of cream cheese. THAT'S IT?
> Does the Bagel Fairy think that she can simply drop off what she wants
> before she scampers off back to Bagel Land? Don't the elves in her
> sweatshop bakery realize that we LIKE the tomatoes? (sobbing) THEY
> ALREADY STOLE THE ONIONS! What's next to go? The butter-chips? Next
> thing you know it'll just be a big basket of egg bagels.
> (deep breath)...
> ... Maybe... if we're all good, and pray every night... not get drunk
> and shout out her name in slander... she'll forgive us our wrong doings
> and bring back the true spirit of Bagel Day next week.




"A sphere is a specialized case of a torroid 
and so is a jelly filled donut." - Mr. Atwater




copyright(c)2003, 2014 William Schaeffer

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