Everything gets broken

Everything gets broken

Everything gets broken

Everything goes wrong

Everyone else is smoking

I think I’ll write a song

copyright(c)2006,2014 William Schaeffer

Quotes from Henry Miller (1891-1980),

Quotes from Henry Miller (1891-1980),

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

“Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning.”

“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”

Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music-the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.

Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he gets desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up to discover what is already there.

Don't look for miracles. You yourself are the miracle.

Black Triangle UFO

Black Triangle UFO sighting during the Lunar Eclipse in August 28, 2007

By Bill Schaeffer

1. The sighting

I had been working the Night Shift for two months as a rotoscope artist and wanted to switch to the Day Shift.    Night Shift was ok, but it was tough to sleep, or socialize, and for my health, I needed to work days.   

We worked on the top floor of an old art Deco building.   I had been doing rotoscoping for over ten years and was working on the movie National Treasure 2.     I worked with two other guys: Dirk and Mel (not their real names).   Dirk was a young married man.   He came in to work, put on his headphones and finished his assignments.   He didn’t talk much, but he was friendly and helpful.   Mel was the other artist on the Night Shift.   A single middle aged guy like myself, he had been rotoscoping for years.     Mel was a hard worker that took his job seriously, but liked to joke and have fun.    He had just bought a new pick up truck that he would take camping on his time off.    Occasionally, Mel and I would sneak out to the roof on our work breaks to relax.

While surfing the internet during a render, I noticed that a lunar eclipse was going to occur the next week.   I thought it would be cool to video tape it.   The eclipse was starting at 2:00 AM and I got off work at 3:00 AM that day (unless there was overtime).    I could punch out an hour early and videotape the eclipse from the roof.

I told Mel and we thought it was a great idea.

The night of the eclipse, I had my camera and tripod in the trunk of my car.    The shift went smoothly.    When the Day Shift left, I got my camera gear from the car.

Around 2:00 AM,  I finished my work and went out to the roof to set up the camera.   Everything was busy .    The lunar eclipse was going to be cool, and I was thinking of getting some great images on tape.    Stabilizing the camera tilt proved to a struggle.

By 2:30 AM the camera was set up and I was rolling video.    I had the camera in a tight shot on the moon, so I could get the greatest detail and the highest resolution. 

The eclipse progressed slowly and steadily.   I had a great deal of difficulty tracking the moon smoothly and spent much time fiddling with the tripod adjustments.    Finally I got a reasonable setting and only had to adjust it every minute or so as the moon drifted out of frame.   When the camera is zoomed in on the moon, you can see the effects of the rotation of the earth.   The image of the moon slowly drifts across the visual field of the camera as the earth moves.   This necessitates a tripod adjustment every few minutes.

Mel came outside and we sat and watched the moon slowly change.   Mel is a big UFO fan and he kept joking about how we were going to see a UFO.   “Oh, there’s a UFO launching off the moon right now.”    “Oh, look there’s another UFO over there.”    “Oh, I see another one over here.”     Every few minutes this was good for a laugh.   

The night was perfectly clear.   There was not a cloud in the sky.    The moon was full and had just risen a few hours earlier.    It was moving toward the perihelion of its arc as it started to eclipse.   Ever so slowly a reddish shadow gradually moved across the face of the moon.    The dull red glow making the silver white seem even brighter as the eclipse progressed.    The stars became more visible in the night sky as the moon dimmed.  

Mel kept on joking about UFO‘s.   I talked about other lunar eclipses I had seen.   Several years earlier, when I was videotaping a lunar eclipse from the Marina, a strange man appeared out of the darkness and talked at length about UFOs.    This man quoted Revelations from the Bible and said that UFOs were really Angels.   He even claimed to have seen an Arc Angel that was a UFO fifty miles long.    He said he lived in the desert and that UFOs would chase him.    He had even seen fleets of over three thousand UFOs on occasion.    After this explanation, the man started talking about politics.   He got extremely irritated at Government policies and I thought it best to pack up and leave.

But now we were on the roof and there were no strange visitors.   Not yet.   Since it was late at night there was very little air traffic.   I do not remember any helicopters or airplanes.   Civilian air space usually shuts down around 1:30 AM in Los Angeles, but occasionally you can hear planes flying late at night.   These  must be military supply flights from the Air Force bases in the desert East of Los Angeles.    In the months before the second Iraq war, I heard a tremendous amount of air traffic in the wee hours of the morning.    I would lay in bed and listen to the planes rumbling overhead at 3:00 AM.    I knew the U.S. was planning a huge military exercise, just from the amount of air traffic.

This night, however, was beautiful and silent.    Except for the air conditioners on the roof, there was no noise and the sky was clear.  There was no wind and we were all in fine spirits.  The video tape was running, but was  tightly zoomed in on the moon.     I had no idea there would be anything else of interest in the sky.    Dirk was still inside, and I was talking to Mel about working night shift.    On the tape you can hear me say,  “Third shift is kind of cool when you get used to it…”      I stop in mid sentence and almost immediately we both say, “Wow, did you see how fast that went.”

I was looking up at the moon when I saw an air craft slowly approach from the left.    At first I thought it was an airplane because of the triangular shape.    But then, when I really looked at it, I was stunned.   

This was like no airplane that I had ever seen.    I remember saying, “Look at that!” and pointing out the air ship in one dramatic gesture.  But there is no recording of me saying that on the video tape.  

In fact, the entire incident I am going to relate appears to happen in just a few frames of the video.    I am talking on the tape, and suddenly , mid sentence we both stop and say, “Did you see how fast that went?”   Unfortunately the image on the tape is an extreme close up shot of the moon in partial eclipse.

***

Off to the left, coming over the roof of the building and below the moon, was a dark shimmering craft that appeared to be huge.   It was close to the same size as the moon in the night sky and was moving very slowly.     We were looking up and seeing only the bottom of the ship, as if we were on the bottom of a lake and looking up at the bottom of a row boat.    There were two sections to the craft, a forward triangular section and a back rectangular section (remember we are just seeing the bottom of the craft).    There were lights on the very points of the leading triangle and fainter points of light on the back corners of the rectangle.   The edge of the craft was very sharp and hard.   There was a faint dividing line between the triangle and rectangle, almost as if the triangle was the “cab of the truck” and the rectangle was the “bed of the truck.”   Both Mel and I had the distinct impression that we were looking at a real, metal, mechanical machine of some sort.    The surface was dark and indistinct.   It appeared to be the same color as the night sky and almost seemed to shimmer with a reflection of stars and night sky.  

Since I am an FX artist, I have a somewhat artistic eye.   The surface of the ship had some indefinite quality to it like it kept changing shades of color.    But the effect was quite subtle as the ship seemed to match the night sky very closely.    It almost seemed like (in FX terms)  I was looking at a bad “rig removal composite,”  where the surrounding sky was used to replace the ship.    But this was real and not a computer image.

The points of light were on the vertices of the triangle shape.    They were just pin points of light and bright white.

Time seemed to slow down, because I remember staring at the craft for a long time trying to make sense of it.   It was one of the most remarkable things I have seen my entire life.   

Then, at almost the same instant I pointed out the ship to Mel, the ship started to accelerate.    I have never seen anything move that fast in my life.   In less than two seconds it shot across the entire arc of the night sky and disappeared over the Santa Monica Bay, and over the Santa Monica Mountains, to the North West.  

***

I am a semi professional musician and have a pretty good sense of time.   I never wear a watch and usually know what time it is to within 15 minutes (even when asleep).    I am fairly confident of the two second time to the horizon.

This event was phenomenal and the only thing I can liken it to is the shift to hyper space in the Star Wars movie series.   Except, in this case, there were no light trails and it was perfectly silent.   This hyper fast movement of the ship to the horizon is the most amazing aspect of this whole event.

After the ship disappeared over the horizon I thought I heard two faint booms, but it is difficult to tell.   You can not hear them on the tape because the roof air conditioners had turned on, and were fairly were noisy.

As the ship sped away, I must have seen the back of the craft (initially I saw only the bottom).    After thinking hard about this, I think that the craft superstructure had a triangular, or trapezoidal, cross section, but I am not entirely sure.

The strange thing is, there is not two seconds of dead air time on the video tape for the ship to fly to the horizon.    In fact, there is not time on the tape to fit my memory of the whole event.    And again, unfortunately, there is no documentary image on the video, because it is an extreme close up shot of the moon

A few calculations can estimate the speed of the craft.    If it took two seconds to go twenty miles to the horizon,  this would be about 36,000 miles per hour or 57,960 kilometers per hour.    Escape Velocity from planet Earth is about 40,000 kilometers per hour.    According to Wikipedia,  the NASA New Horizons spacecraft has an Escape Velocity of 58,356 kilometers per hour.   As a point of reference, the speed of sound is 1,240 kilometers per hour and a typical jet flies around 700-900 kilometers per hour.

This craft accelerated to escape velocity in two seconds.   And it moved with total silence.

The rest of the night was relatively uneventful.  Mel and I discuss the UFO at great length, but mostly just comments like, “Wow, I cannot believe what that was, or how fast it went.”   and, “It was like a black triangle.”   Later, our other coworker Dirk, came out to photograph the eclipse and eventually we packed up and went home.

2. The next day

The next day at work, it was like nothing happened.   It was real strange how ordinary everything was, considering we had both seen something phenomenal.

I got sick the next week and took the whole week off of work.   I bought some books on UFOs and realized that “Black Triangles” have been sighted many times.    Another book talked about channeling entities from the Pleiades Star Cluster.   

Shortly after that, I got in a huge fight with my girlfriend and we broke up.    

When I returned from sick leave, I started on Afternoon Shift.   The movie was stressful and I got in several arguments with co workers about taking my office chair. 

Two months later, when the movie ended, I got laid off and I haven’t been back since.

In the weeks after the sighting, I would go out to the roof and look up and the sky and try and make sense of the whole experience.    I would stare at the clouds, or stars, and try and remember what it looked like, and what it “felt like.”    Now, I occasionally think of the event, and it is still a strange and amazing memory.

Mel thought it was probably a top secret USA military air craft of some sort.   I don’t know what it was, but it certainly was like no air craft I have ever seen.   It was totally silent.   It very well could have been a UFO.    I theorize that it used the cover of night sky and the planetary alignment of the eclipse, to “slingshot” the craft back to its appointed space time coordinates.    I will never know what we saw, but I do know that we saw something.    And I know that Mel saw something very similar to what I saw.   And finally, we are both convinced that what we saw was a real, metal, “nuts and bolts” air craft of some sort.  

Appendix A.   The initial description a day or two after the sighting.  (sent to a UFO website)

Not interested in "registering" or anything, but a friend and I
saw "something" on the night of the eclipse. We were watching the
eclipse from the roof of a building in Santa Monica CA. It must have
been around 3am because the moon was fully red.

All of a sudden I saw a strange group of lights in the sky. Three or
five lights at the points of a transparent shape that looked like an
elongated pentagon, or like an elongated "home plate"

Instantly I called to my friend, "Look at that." The shape appeared to
be directly overhead when I saw it and in a matter of seconds it had
"flown" across the entire arc of the sky. My friend saw the same thing
and we were both glad to have a witness. The shape was totally dark
like the night sky and appeared to be just an outline.

The night was perfectly clear with no clouds. The moon was red and I
presume many others in LA were watching the sky also.

This shape moved incredibly fast. I estimate that it was visible for
only two or three seconds before it had flown "out of sight" It moved
at least 20 times faster than any plane I have ever seen.

It was totally silent, but there were air conditioners on the roof. I
thought I heard a low rumble from the distance just after it disappeared,
but it is difficult to say.

This entire episode lasted two or three seconds. it could have been
some strange light reflection from the ground, but there were no clouds
in the sky. Both my friend and I had the impression that we had just
seen a "air plane" of some sort that moved at an incredible rate of
speed, totally silently. Although appearances can be deceptive.

We work as digital artists and consider ourselves to have fairly acute
vision. We wish to maintain our anonymity, but are curious if anyone
else saw the same thing?

additional note: The shape was "flying" from the east to the west and disappeared over the Santa Monica Bay.    

Appendix B.   The Calculations:

The horizon is about 20 miles away. 

20 miles in 2 seconds = 600 miles per minute = 36,000 miles per hour = 57,960 kilometers per hour.

  

Escape velocity from planet earth is about 40,000 kilometers per hour.

The NASA New Horizons spacecraft has an escape velocity of 58,356 kilometers per hour (according to wikipedia.com).

The speed of sound is about 1,240 kilometers per hour.

A typical jet flies around 700 - 900 kilometers per hour.

Appendix C.

Drawing of the event made a few days later

Copyright 2008, 2014 William A. Schaeffer

Thoughts on Change

Thoughts on Change

by Bill Schaeffer

May 2002

In his book "Notes to Myself,” author Hugh Prather describes a game
where he tries to predict what he will be doing in 15 minutes and finds
that he is invariably wrong. Some unforeseen event, such as a phone
call or remembered obligation, inevitably changes his future. He makes
the observation that if he can't predict what he will be doing in 15
minutes, how could he possibly predict what he will be doing in five years.

Looking back at my career, and the manner that technology has
progressed, it seems that no one could have predicted the digital

Visual Effects industry as it is today.

When I took my first Computer Science Class in 1976 the main interface
was teletype or punch card readers. There were no computer terminals,
although vector graphic terminals were soon to appear. There were no
camcorders or video cassettes and most news crews still used 16 mm
film. The hand held calculator had just replaced the slide rule in
engineering classes. Cable TV did not exist and speculation on the
viability of the medium was mixed. The mouse had not yet been invented and phone machines were a rarity. Personal Computers had not been invented.

The only available storage mediums were data drives the size of a small washing machine or large 2" magnetic tape reels. The Voyager II, that was launched the next year, had a total on-board memory of 16k. This is less than some cell phones today.

How could anyone have predicted that in 25 years you could edit feature
films and produce life like special effects on equipment that any
consumer could purchase?

In time, many amazing tools have been invented and we now live in a
technological environment that is vastly different. The personal
computer, the internet, video cassette, camcorder, cell phone, mouse,
compact disc, and many other inventions have made life rich with
possibilities that were unimaginable just a few years ago.

Despite the challenges and difficulties, it has been an amazing period
of technological change and I feel genuinely lucky to have been a part
of it. I look forward to the inevitable changes that are continuing to happen.

I have a saying that has been central to my philosophy and I would like
to share it:

                        “Plan for the future,
                        but don't plan on it.

                        Anticipate the worst,
                        but expect the best.”

At one point in his campaigns, Alexander the Great called together his
philosophers for advice. He asked them to give him a phrase he could
say to himself on any occasion, tragic or triumphant. They retired, and
after some deliberation, arrived at a saying they found appropriate.
The phrase, I think, is useful for anyone to remember in good times and
in bad. It is a very simple truth of life:

                        "This too will pass."

And before it all passes away, I hope to experience as much as I can.
Life is short and we have only a little time to make the most of it.
If the past is any indication, the future should be very exciting!

Addendum 2014:

It seems that I am an eternal optimist and my life has turned out to be more disappointment and downturn than I could have imagined at the time of this original writing.   I’ve lost all my savings, my condo, and most of my friends.   I still have my artwork in storage at this time, but I have been recently diagnosed with a Hernia that I cannot pay to repair.  I am unemployed and cannot find work in my previous profession.  My family will not speak to me.  Children stare at me when they see me in the street.

Nevertheless, when I am not yelling in anger and throwing books across the room, I stop and smile and repeat to myself:

                        “It is ALL part of the Fun.”

And when you find that things do not turn out the way you planned and you are frustrated and angry; I suggest that you think about repeating this phrase to yourself also:

                        “It is ALL part of the Fun.”

Even at its worst, life is still marginally better than “not life”   The price we pay for the rewards of living are the pain, disappointment, heartache, and loss that we inevitably experience. Check back in twelve more years and see how we are all doing.

Copyright© 2002, 2004, 2014 William Schaeffer

spontaneous cybernetic haiku

spontaneous
cybernetic
haiku



computer
intestines
telephone


desk lamp
coffee mug
checkbook


emergency
glue gun
narrative


background
nightmare
uncertainty



laughter
hope
blessing


waiting
patience
love

Proof that the Catholic Church, or some other Institution, will eventually own all the Wealth on Earth

Proof that the Catholic Church, or some other Institution, will eventually own all the Wealth on Earth

For this exercise we define wealth as any tangible assets that have value.  This is a common view of wealth.  In this exercise, ownership means control.  If you own the wealth you control the wealth.   Again, this is a common understanding.  An Institution is any incorporated group of people, subject to membership rules, that is self perpetuating and controls wealth.

Proof that the Catholic Church, or some other Institution, will eventually own all the wealth on Earth:

1) Both Humans and Institutions gather wealth during their life.

2) Humans are forced to divest their wealth when they die.

3) Institutions never die.  Their membership is replaced as offices become vacant.

4) Institutions NEVER divest their wealth voluntarily

5) Institutions continue to gather wealth through generations and generations of human existence, while people are continually dying and having their accumulated wealth be recirculated.

6) Presently the Catholic Church controls more wealth than any other institution, or entity, on Earth.

7) The Catholic Church will continue to accumulate wealth slowly over time.   Occasional political upheavals may force divestiture of some of this wealth, but the majority will remain untouched and continue to grow.

8) Eventually, all wealth on Earth will be controlled by a few huge institutions and all humanity will be slaves to these power structures.  The humans will no longer control any wealth, but will themselves be controlled by the institutions, much like peasants were “owned” by the Aristocracy, or the Catholic Church, in the Middle Ages in Europe.  We sometimes forget that the Church had vast land holdings that were worked by peasants.

9) Ultimately, a single institution will arise that consumes all rival institutions.  All wealth on Earth will be controlled by this institution.  This institution will probably be the Catholic Church, because it is presently the largest economic entity on Earth.  But it may be another institution that is organized very similarly.   This will not happen in our lifetimes or even in the foreseeable future, but it seems inevitable; like the heat death of the entire Universe, due to Entropy, that is the inevitable consequence of the Second Law of Thermodynamics, in the science of Thermodynamics.

Notes:

To me this exercise illustrates the real danger of treating institutions as individuals.  In the USA corporations are treated by law as individuals, but they are not individuals and they have tremendous advantage over individuals as guaranteed by law. 

1) Corporations never die, they are consumed by other corporations and their wealth is transferred from one institution to another.  Corporate wealth is rarely transferred back to private ownership, because corporations outlive people.

2) In 1900 only 15% of USA American citizens were employed by corporations; the rest were self-employed and masters of their own  lives.  Today, over 80% of USA American citizens are employed by corporations. 

3) When all employment is privatized and corporatized, then there will be no more freedom in USA America.  We will all be virtual slaves of the corporate economic structure.  The Bill of Rights does not apply to the corporate workplace or factory floor. This has already been decided by the courts.

4) Only those people who own corporate stock certificates will be free humans and in control of their own fate.  All other people on Earth will be owned by the corporations in a form of contractual servitude that will resemble the Feudalism in Europe.  The difference will be that these new slaves will not be bound by agricultural territory; but the new slaves will be bound by their economic  function.  There will be no escape.

Additional Note:

Don’t bequeath wealth to institutions in your last will and testament.  Institutions do NOT behave in the interest of humanity.  Institutions behave in their own self-interest which is frequently at the expense of humanity.

Make sure you leave your wealth to individual people and not to institutions.  Leaving wealth to institutions only helps to hasten the inevitable slavery that your descendants will experience.

Keep people free.   Don’t give wealth to any institutions at all.

Copyright© 2014 William A. Schaeffer

I found a little pebble

I found a little pebble

A marvel to behold

It was just a common stone

But to me; a piece of gold

I carried it with me everywhere

In my pocket or my hand.

Thinking  it a lucky sign

I became a fortunate man

But when I showed my treasure

To the crowd upon the square

They declared that I was daft

And at my head did stare

So I took away my little rock

With deftness of my hand

Then that charm I threw away

In the nearest garbage can

And now I miss my little stone

And lament my lack of jewels

I trusted in the common crowd

And they’re just a bunch of fools.

Copyright©2014 Wm Schaeffer

I Remember Freddie

I Remember Freddie

By Bill Schaeffer

It was a long time ago, when I was only five years old.    The memories are faded now. 

I can only recall a few incidents distinctly, and even these memories are just caricatures of the original memories.

I don’t even remember when I met Freddie H.    He was a year older than me and it seemed to me that he was the happiest, wisest, most talented, and luckiest boy on earth.

Freddie knew how everything worked and he explained it to me with great enthusiasm.    He had straight black hair, bronze skin, and a smile that could charm the princes, and princesses, of the world.    He was always laughing, and we had many adventures together in the woods at the bottom of the street.   I don’t remember much of our play, but I remember that he would tempt me to do things I had never thought of and we had outrageous fun.   It was perhaps this adventurous quality that made my mother dislike Freddie.   

Freddie had a younger brother, Billy who was my age.    I never got along with Billy.   He would pick on me, and even though he was a few months younger than me, he could always beat me up.  Once, my father rescued me from having my face ground into the dirt by Billy. Apparently, Freddie picked on Billy also, but I never saw it.  Freddie was never mean to me and we always had fun.  Freddie was my favorite friend.

He showed me how to be blood brothers and explained that pirates used knives to cut their palms, but we could just prick our thumbs with a pin.  Once we pressed our thumbs together and mixed our blood, we would be blood brothers forever.  Even a single drop of blood was enough.  So, at five and six years old, we became blood brothers.

Freddie had an older brother who was blind from birth.    He was more than seven years older than us and spent the days swinging on a swing set in the back yard.    Noiselessly swinging back and forth talking to nobody all day long; pumping the swing furiously in the summer sun.   Even at five years old, I could not imagine what his life must have been like, or what he possibly could be thinking.

I don’t remember Freddie’s mother, and I don’t think I ever met his father.

In July, the County Fair would come to town and for a week, and the fair grounds were transformed into the most magical amusement park on earth.    Even though the fair grounds were only a few blocks away, I could not go by myself.    But Freddie went to the fair and the stories sounded exciting.   

When I was older, I would spend hours walking around the fair looking at all the exhibits and collecting free handouts.    The Democrat’s booth was the best, because they gave out tiny little cartoon books and gum and prizes.    The lung association gave out fans with a picture of an old ugly person and the phrase “Smoking is very Glamorous.”

All the neighborhood kids would go to the Fair and occasionally we would play the games.   One year we won thirty, or forty, drinking glasses for our mothers in the toss a nickel game.   Sometimes, if we had money, we would ride the rides.   The Tilt-a-Whirl, The Squirrel Cages, and the Round Up.   But, the Salt and Pepper Shaker was the best.   You sat in a cage that was attached to long arm.    Your cage would spin around a hub between the seat backs as the arm rotated in a vertical circle.   We talked endlessly of surviving the perils of the Salt and Pepper Shaker.    But mostly, we would just walk around the fair looking at things; trying to find money on the ground.

We would walk through the animal pens, and look at all the farm animals laying in the hot shade.  The pigs were huge and the sheep were loud and the whole place smelled of straw and manure.  One year, they had a demolition derby on the race track.   Another year, some Hippies set up a strobe light in a dark tent and charged admission.  

But at five, for me, these joys were not yet discovered.   Instead, we would play in the neighborhood.  At night we would play hide and go seek with the neighborhood kids until our mothers called.    The fireflies would twinkle in the twilight air as we ran through newly planted bushes marking the property lines.    I have a pleasant stereotypical memory of a warm dusk evening where we are laughing and running around chasing fireflies.   Just “having fun” was the most important thing we could do and we pursued it with enthusiasm unbridled. 

All the neighbor kids joined in these games it seems:  Jeff and Ronny Z. (from next door), my brother Brian, Freddie and Billy H., all the kids in the S. family (from next door on the other side), and several kids whose names I have forgotten.

It was on one of those dusky nights, during the Fair, that it happened.   I heard the next morning.    Freddie H. was coming home from the Fair and he had been hit by a car.   

He was dead.    My mother explained that the driver of the car was blinded by the lights of oncoming traffic and did not see Freddie run into traffic.   Apparently, Freddie died at the scene.   Six years old and he had already lived his entire life.    I would never see Freddie ever again.

I don’t remember going to the funeral.   My parents probably thought I was too young to understand death and dying.    I don’t even remember seeing anyone from the family ever again.   They sold their house and moved away.    Life settled back into a routine and in the fall I went to school and met with a whole new series of adventures.

A few weeks after Freddie died, on a beautiful sunny morning in August, my mother was ironing the laundry.     I was thinking about Freddie and asked my mother if she was glad that Freddie was dead because she never liked him in the first place.    She paused for a long time and carefully chose her words when she spoke.   “We are never happy when someone dies.   It is always a terrible tragedy.  Especially when it is an innocent child…” she said -- or something like that.

I’m not sure I believed her, but it was a long time ago and my memory is fading.   We never spoke of Freddie or the H. family again.    But occasionally I remember Freddie and wonder at the mystery of life.    How one so vital and full of life could lose it so quickly and how others can continue on.     Almost no one remembers Freddie now, I am sure, and my memories are few and uncertain.     I sometimes wonder what sort of man he might have grown up to become.   I am sure he would have been successful.   But to me Freddie will always remain as I knew him.   A quick and lively six year old boy, with bright flashing eyes and a winning smile who was always ready to find the next adventure.      He will remain forever an impish, mischievous playmate challenging me to new experiences.   

I miss you Freddie.    I’ve never really said it before, but I miss your spirit.    I miss your joy of life and sense of adventure.   In the intervening years I have met and known thousands, if not, tens of thousands of people.    I’ve come to know life and understand joy and hardship in ways that a five year boy cannot imagine.    But in that whole time, I’ve never met anyone who was as full of life as I remember Freddie was.

Thanks Freddie.    May God bless you and may you Rest in Peace forever.   I hope you are having fun in those heavenly forests, playing hide and go seek in those Elysian Fields; chasing fireflies, and pirates, through all eternity.  

Take Care my friend. 

I still remember.  I will always remember, and I will never forget.  

Blood Brothers forever.

I promise.

Copyright©2007, 2014 William A. Schaeffer

How a Hummingbird Saved my Life

How a Hummingbird Saved my Life (a generally true story)  

By Bill Schaeffer                                  

In the early 90’s I was working for CST Entertainment doing colorization.   I’d worked there for over five years and had managed to be promoted to the Art Department as a designer.     The equipment was slow and the software was primitive, but it was still fun and challenging to get a project approved.

On this particular day, I was working on colorizing a Beatles video clip for a big retrospective video release.   It was Monday morning and I was in a foul mood, having argued with my Mother on the phone the night before.    My task was to organize initial designs for presentation to the client.    This frequently involved changing the artist’s designs and making them consistent and workable.    Crowd scenes were the worst, because of all the details.    

The clip we were working on was the first trans-Atlantic broadcast where the Beatles played “All You Need Is Love” and Mick Jagger was in the audience.    The producer wanted to colorize the segment for the video release and it was extremely difficult because of the poor transfer quality.    The initial video was recorded on an obsolete video format that was transferred through several generations of format conversions.     The image was of a crowd and there was ghosting and ringing and very soft edges.    The initial designs were done by R. G. --  a talented artist and designer, but occasionally inconsistent and sloppy with the details.   On this crowd scene, his work seemed all confused and I was having an extremely difficult time straightening it out.  

I shared the art studio with another work station and the art team frequently used the room as a lounge when there were no clients.    The whole crew was in this morning and they were talking about supernatural events.    I was in no mood to hear supposedly true “ghost stories” and “mystical coincidences”, but what could I do?     The more I tried to figure out the design problems, the louder people were talking about demons and angels and ghosts and secret powers.   This was very annoying.

One woman said she had been chased by a demon her whole life, until she got married.    Another said she saw angels when she conceived her son, and had a vision of heaven once after a revival meeting.   A man  said that wherever he went, electrical devices turned off.     Now I was really getting annoyed, because I find that happens to me also.    Street lights especially, seem to turn off when I pass by them.     

As they continued to talk about these strange and disturbing events, I was having more difficulty concentrating.    I was really tired of the work and wanted to do something else.     I was already stiff and tense and it was only 10 AM.  I moved my chair and went to adjust my monitor, when all of a sudden the computer crashed.    It was all I could do to remain calm and relaxed.

Strangely, the computer crashed in a way I have never seen before or since.   We were working on SGI Indigo workstations and there was a typical way the software, or machine failed.    On this occasion the computer did not do that.   Instead, the screen went black and there was a purple rectangle in the center of the screen.    The purple color was not solid however and was really a “writhing and boiling” collection of noise and sine wave curves that looked generally purple.    No one else knew what it was or how to fix it.

“Great!  Now I have lost all my work.” I said.     This was not a good day.

With tremendous personal discipline, I slowly got up and calmly walked out of the room.    We were on the third floor and there was a walkway overlooking a large atrium courtyard filled with prehistoric plants and trees.   It was very nice and one of the few nice things about working at that site.    I stood leaning on the railing and just stared at the green plants.    I was furious, drained, tired, and wanted to be anywhere else on earth doing almost anything else imaginable.   I was angry and depressed and just stood there;   leaning on the rail, teeth clenched, looking at the plants and trees.

And then, while I was angrily ruminating on my unfair fate, I noticed something phenomenal.   A little Hummingbird was hovering right in front of my face -- about eight inches in front of the bridge of my nose.   He was silently hovering and just looking  me in the eyes it seemed.   All of a sudden all the tenseness and anger left my body.    I was relaxed and calm and nothing really mattered.    A thought occurred to me, “You do not have to be here today.   You can do anything you want.     You can just leave if you want.”

The Hummingbird continued to hover silently in front of me as I savored the relaxed peace and resolution I now felt.    It was a beautiful Spring morning and the sun was shining warm and the air was cool and fresh.   Of course, in Los Angeles, many days seem like beautiful Spring days, but this really was a nice Spring day.   I stood there motionless for a while and eventually the bird flew off.

Calmly, I went back into the design studio and told everyone that I didn’t feel well and I was going home sick.   I don’t even remember what I did the rest of the day, or the next; because I called in sick the next day also.   But I’m sure I enjoyed it more than working on that computer.    My coworkers finished the work for me and they did a great job.    I felt bad about dumping it, but what can be done?

Eventually I got another job and the company was bought out and everyone else has moved on, also.    The clip looks good and I was glad to be some small part of it, but from that day on, whenever I see a Hummingbird, I take it as a good sign.    I  try to relax and savor the moment, and remind myself that, “You do not have to do anything that you do not want to do.”

“And no one else needs to do so, either.”

Addendum:

About ten years later, I broke my leg in a bicycle accident and the recovery was long and tedious.    The first time I felt I could walk well enough, I took a hike in the Santa Monica mountains.   This was sometime in September 2002.    At one point on the way up the hill, when I was getting tired and winded, I though I would stop under the shade of a tree in the path and rest.     

It was a small gnarled tree with a nice spread of foliage that described the suggestion of a dome.   As I rested under the canopy, and looked up at the tree and sky and canyon, I noticed that there was a Hummingbird, silently hovering in the space in the branches.   And then I noticed another Hummingbird, and another.   “How odd,” I thought; because Hummingbirds are not particularly social creatures.

There must have been fifteen or twenty Hummingbirds all silently hovering in the spaces between the leaves.    They were all evenly spaced on the edge of the tree.    It was as if the Hummingbirds were hovering in an equally spaced globe formation that perfectly fit the size of the tree.

I do not remember the Hummingbirds flying off.

I sat and looked at them for quite a while, and then got up and continued to the waterfall at the top of the trail.    When I came back down the trail, I couldn’t remember which tree it was where I saw the Hummingbirds, and didn’t see them again on that hike.

 

Addendum, the second:

Upon writing the above account, I realize that it was on, or shortly after the above described hike, that I decided to record “Piano Christmas.”     About a month later, I recorded the music that was released later that year.    One track from that CD, “Jingle Bells,” was licensed by Hallmark Cards three years later for a musical Christmas Card.

A couple days after that recording session, I decided to quit drinking (for mostly unrelated reasons).   After drinking nearly every night for almost 18 years, I stopped.   As  of this writing, I haven’t drank alcohol in almost five and a half years. 

Who knows if these events are related?    I am not even sure myself, but it is a curious little story, and the Hummingbird is still an extraordinary little bird.

Copyright (c) 2008, 2014 Wm Schaeffer

The Gospel of Thomas

“The Gospel of Thomas” Audio lecture by Elaine Pagels

Reviewed by Bill Schaeffer

The discussion of Elaine Pagels’ lecture on The Gospel of Thomas, and the Q source is
quite involved.   Nevertheless, here is a brief summary :

1) Early in the nineteenth century (1800's) German scholars began doing a
linguistic study of the Bible. They looked at a number of factors to guess
when certain parts were written and which parts were related to others.
They also began to identify sections that had been changed, or "enhanced"
through time. This was before archaeology, geology, or most of the
sciences existed. The Geological age of the earth wasn't commonly accepted
till the 1840's

2) Since the quotes of Jesus in the Synoptic Gospels (Mathew, Mark and Luke)
are identically similar, these scholars speculated that there was a common
source that the Gospel writers referenced. This has come to be known as
the Q source after the German word "Quelle."

3) When the Gospel of Thomas was found, and translated, many scholars
assumed that this could very well be the Q source. Many scholars still
believe this and I personally think that is a likely possibility.
Incidentally, The Gospel of Thomas is a collection of quotes, much like
the Koran, but it is much smaller that the Koran

4) Almost all the quotes of Jesus in the Synoptic Gospels are found in the
Gospel of Thomas. However, there are also sayings of Jesus in the Gospel
of Thomas that are very unlike anything to be found in the Canonical Bible
(official Bible). They are more like Zen koans than the typical Christian
parables.

5) In the lecture on the Gospel of Thomas, Elaine Pagels advanced the theory
that the Gospel of Thomas is really a composite work and that sayings were added
to it at different times. She even identified certain passages as "not
belonging" (or erroneous).  I found this to be an astounding claim.

6) However, Elaine Pagels herself is very traditional Christian woman and is
an Episcopalian protestant although she is drawn to both the Quaker and the
Evangelical interpretations of the Scripture (both very different from each
other). I found this a little strange, because she has devoted her career
to interpreting early Gnosticism (the most feared, and persecuted, heresy in
history).

7) It seems that her belief system (psychological foundation of her
Faith) limits the degree to which she can accept the Gospel of Thomas as
being entirely authentic sayings of Jesus.

8)  However, I think  that "Occam’s Razor" is applicable in this case. 

Named after William of Occam around 13th century,   Occam’s Razor

says that "the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.”

9) It seems to me that the Gospel of Thomas is a verbatim record of the

memorable saying of Jesus.  It was probably written by Jesus' brother Judas

Thomas (a different person than Judas Iscariot).  It probably is the Q source.

This would lend a strongly eastern, or  Buddhist flavor, to the original

teachings of Jesus.

10) Ironically this corresponds very well with Nietzsche's interpretation of
the life of Jesus as delineated in his book "The Anti Christ.“   Far from

being a condemnation of the original teachings of Jesus, it is really a

condemnation of the Christian church and can be read as an affirmation of

Jesus himself.

11) One would probably need to read "The Anti Christ", the Synoptic Gospels,
some of Elaine Pagels book "Gnosticism" and the Gospel of Thomas to
really understand these arguments. A familiarity with Christian History
and the writings and spirit of Zen Buddhism would help immensely.

12) Nevertheless, Elaine Pagel's audio lecture "The Gospel of Thomas" was
still quite good and I learned quite a bit about the Gospel of John and
early Christian history in general. She has a sincere sounding voice and
"a fair and balanced" presentation of different interpretations of the
available data.

Copyright© 2007,2014 William Schaeffer

The Legend of Billy the Bagel

The Legend of Billy the Bagel

By Bill Schaeffer

July 23,2003

Ever since he could remember, Billy the Bagel wanted to be a donut.  When he was growing up all his friends were donuts and he always envied them greatly.  Donuts were sugary.  Donuts had icing.  Donuts were jelly filled.  Donuts had nuts.  Donuts were sold at the ball park.  Even the police preferred donuts to bagels.  And if the police thought donuts were better than bagels, then being a bagel was just no good.

His friends used to taunt and tease him, “I never heard of a bagel with chocolate icing.  I never heard of a jelly filled bagel!  Or, get this, how about a jelly filled bagel with icing and sprinkles!”  His friends would howl with laughter.

He would cringe and bear the insults.  “Maybe if I hang out with donuts they’ll like me and THEN I’ll get to date some of those hot little donut holes…”  he thought.

But alas, no one ever paid him any attention except when they were teasing and mocking him for being a bagel.

He grew increasingly depressed.  His parents were unable to console him and started to become worried.  “There’s nothing wrong with being a bagel,” they said, “There are many important bagels in the world.  The sun dried tomato bagel.  The egg bagel.  The raisin bagel.  The salt bagel.  Even the onion bagel is world renowned.”

“But,” he cried, “They don’t have jelly filling or sprinkles!  They don’t have any nuts!”

He sank into a deep depression.  His parents were worried that he might become stale and be left for the “day old shelf.”

Then, a miracle happened.  Word went out that an agent from a big special effects company was looking for bagels to help out on a big budget special effects film.  Billy got his resume together, applied for the job, and got accepted.  His parents were very proud.

“I’ll be working on a tent pole project this summer.  They need some help on bagel day and said that I had the perfect qualifications.  I’m really looking forward to mingling with the stars.  Who knows, maybe I’ll be discovered and then I’ll be rich and famous.”

His friends were incredulous.  “You are real lucky to work in show business,” they said.  “Do you think they need any donuts?”

“I don’t think so boys.  But, if they do -- I’ll be sure to let you know.”

So, eventually the big day came.  Billy the Bagel was starting to work on his first Feature Film.  He was sitting in a big wicker basket with a bunch of other new hires.  The kitchen was bright and warm and was bustling with activity.  A few of his friends got selected for assignments and he wished them luck.

Boy, this is exciting,” he thought.

A few people almost picked him but they all chose someone else.

Finally an attractive young intern grabbed him and popped him into the toaster.

“I have a feeling that this is going to be a great day!” he said.

Copyright © 2003, 2014 William Schaeffer

Bagel Day Blues

Authors note: In several VFX houses it was common to have a Bagel Day one day a week, when Bagels and trimmings were provided for breakfast.  This custom may have started at ILM, but I know it was common at Digital Domain, R n H, and other facilities.  This letter was inspired by an incident at work.

Richard,

While I sympathize, to some extent, with your sense of loss and
heartbreak; I feel compelled to remind you of the greater significance
of Bagel Day and even of Bagels themselves.

Many, like yourself, become down heartened when every Bagel Day does not
meet with their preconceived notions of what Bagel Day should be. It is
helpful to remember that the true message of Bagel Day goes far beyond
the consumption of Bagels and their accoutrements. It is an exercise
in spiritual self discovery and the rejuvenation of the physical body.

Let us examine the lowly Bagel. It is made in the form of a circle,
which itself is symbolic of perfection. This tells us that a Bagel
alone, without tomatoes, cream cheese or margarine is already in a state
of perfect being. It is only our spiritual shortcomings that cause us
to desire a toasted Bagel, or the addition of cream cheese. Even a salt
Bagel is in an of itself perfect and a reminder that we are the salt of
the earth. The Rye Bagel teaches us to see the irony in life and the
sun dried Bagel teaches us of the warming love of our merciful creator.
Even the onion Bagel teaches us of the horrors of a life of sin and the
eternal perils that await us in the lake of fire if we do not live in
the grace of the Bagel.

Bagel day, as such, is a celebration of our common spirituality and is a
time for rejoicing and giving thanks for our life on this mortal coil.
Even the simplest fare is all that is really necessary for a true Bagel
Day to occur. Some of the faithful even use ordinary bread, when Bagels
are not available, and the gesture is received with equal grace by our
benevolent creator.

Richard, in conclusion I would like to remind you that we are all lucky
to have Bagels to toast. Let us not let our spiritual growth be
hindered by lustful desires for tomatoes, onions, or even Lox.

I appreciate your struggle and empathize with your confusion. But let
us remember that life is difficult, but with a true clarity of vision,
every Bagel Day can be a special as that very first one was all those 
many years ago.

I wish you peace, happiness, and many joyous Bagel Days to come!!

Your, ever loving Brother of the Bagel,

Bill






Richard wrote:
>
> This is a very sad holiday for all of us, I know.
> Due to the absence of sliced semi-ripe tomatoes, I urge you all to
> boycott the Bagel Day Parade.
> The Bagel Fairy is the cause of much suffering today. She simply put
> down a basket of UN-EVENLY sliced bagels, a tub of margarine and a vat
> of cream cheese. THAT'S IT?
> Does the Bagel Fairy think that she can simply drop off what she wants
> before she scampers off back to Bagel Land? Don't the elves in her
> sweatshop bakery realize that we LIKE the tomatoes? (sobbing) THEY
> ALREADY STOLE THE ONIONS! What's next to go? The butter-chips? Next
> thing you know it'll just be a big basket of egg bagels.
> (deep breath)...
> ... Maybe... if we're all good, and pray every night... not get drunk
> and shout out her name in slander... she'll forgive us our wrong doings
> and bring back the true spirit of Bagel Day next week.

"A sphere is a specialized case of a torroid and so is a jelly filled donut." - Mr. Atwater




copyright(c)2003, 2014 William Schaeffer