R.I.P. Sigitas Bigelis

My friend Sigi died a year ago from cancer.  We were roommates in college and he was the one who turned me on to smoking weed.  However, I just quit smoking weed a month ago because I was coughing too much.  It is the last vice that my body could tolerate and I'm doing ok.  

Sigi and I were roommates the sophomore year in college.  Then I got an apartment the junior year with some other friends.  Ironically, Sigi quit smoking a couple years after that, but we always stayed in touch and I went up to visit his house in San Jose a couple times.  He was a programmer for Lockheed and then a systems programmer for IBM.  He was a smart and hard working guy, but never really found happiness or love.  He liked to drink beer and eat BBQ.  One year he BBQ'ed a whole turkey on his grill for Thanksgiving. One Christmas he sent me a big box care package with numerous DVD copies and a funny robot clown.

About four or five years ago we stopped talking because he was drinking Vodka excessively. He called me from his mother's house after drinking nine shots of vodka.  He had smuggled a bottle in his suitcase on the plane.  I was pissed because his entire conversation was a waste of my time.  Even though I was angry, I still remembered him affectionately but did not call.  A few years later I called him "out of the blue" and found he had cancer.  He loved to eat meat and was 60 pounds over weight.  He had found some symptoms, of blood in his stool, but did not bother going to the doctor in time.  He finally quit drinking but it was too late.  He died a few months later.  I called a few times, but could not visit because I had a Hernia myself that was probably caused by coughing.

He thought about killing himself with his pistol, but I urged him to be a man, and am genuinely surprised that he did not take the suicide route.  He died like a man, in great pain, and great mental torment.  His brother took care of all the preparations as he had no family.   

I rarely spoke to his brother, because Sigi always described the brother as selfish, and egotistical.  He was a salesman in Chicago.  I STILL have not spoken with the brother since Sigi's death even though I wrote two letters.  

Sigi was only 57 when he died and he probably could have lived another thirty years if he had loved himself and taken care of himself, but he didn't.  We live in a world without love, being excessively concerned with corporate profits, big houses, and lots of neat material possessions.   This is especially true for men in America.   I am not sure if Sigi ever read a single book on philosophy, but he did read science fiction and fantasy on occasion. I remember he turned me on to the literature of Franz Kafka in college.

Now days, it is too bad that almost no one remembers him and no one really cares that he is dead.  He was a good guy despite being stubborn and opinionated.  He was honest and fair and his "word was gold."  He always followed through on his promises.   I miss him and think of him occasionally.

R.I.P. Sigitas Bigelis 10-13-2014

copyright(c)2015

William Schaeffer

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