The Secular Blessing

The Secular Blessing

Inspired by the ideas of the Church of the Sub Genius (with Timothy Leary and Robert Anton Wilson), Tristan Tzara, Aldous Huxley, Rob Brezsney, Lao Tzu, Demosthenes, Epicurus, Epictitus, Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Bozo the Clown, Biff the Wonder Dog, The Society of Contraries, the meta physical possibilities of DADA performance, AND the entire history of Western Civilization --- the secular blessing is an entirely conscious act of public performance.

Here is the idea:

1. You see a person, event, thing, or time that "needs" a blessing.

THEN

2. You bless him, her, or "it."

This is not a big deal, but it could be.  It is just a simple artistic act meant to acknowledge something that appears to not have been acknowledged.  However, if there is possibly a psychic or supernatural component to every action and if you bless something, it just might make a difference -- if even only in yourself and then, "whatever that might mean..."

The expanded form:

1. When you are sufficiently moved and in the proper "ecumenical spirit" you make the  sign on the cross over the object in the same manner that a traditional Catholic Priest or Episcopal Priest might do.  i.e. Make the proper hand gesture and move it: Up, Down, Right, Left -- THEN you can make a "Zinger" -- a hand gesture that completes the blessing and sanctifies it.

Possible Zingers include:

1. Pointing stabbing motion
2. Snap fingers
3. corkscrew point
4. sprinkling fairy dust
5. flipping a coin
6. flicking a football
7. any creative short hand gesture that is preferably not obscene or unsanitary.



Theological framework:

There is no theological framework except an insultingly ignorant imitation of a simple hand gesture.

Psychology:

It is possible that some Quantum connection exists between different minds and even life forces or living systems.  By acting out these fantasy gestures, we may inadvertently trigger a connection of this Quantum relationship -- with positive results.

It is possible that the silly dramatic gesture may stimulate our own deeper awareness of the world around us, the way the world operates, and our connection to it.

It might be a funny thing and make people laugh in both a healthy way, and unhealthy way.

It might be dangerous if our gestures are misunderstood as insulting and denigrating.

It might be dangerous if our gestures actually are perfectly understood and really were intended to be insulting and denigrating.

It might be a liberating experience.

References:

For more information on "The Church of the Sub Genius" just ask Bob for guidance and search the internet.  It would help if you also looked for Timothy Leary, or Robert Anton Wilson. "Praise Bob"



Addendum:

I believe that I am a Discordian Pope within the Church of the Sub Genius.  But so are you now that you have read this sentence.  I could live either way or even without knowing anything about any of it at all.  I am a heretical believer (if such a thing could even exist) and think that we can all declare ourselves Pope without any discord or even the consent of the Sub Genius, or even Bob Himself.

"Praise Bob"

Even if we cannot speak and are just a small lap dog, or a foot stool, or a shining gold lamp post standing in the middle of a dark forest patiently waiting to be turned on (and not realizing that we never could really be truly turned on) we still have the potential to be absolutely insignificant and that is probably just what we need.

"Praise Bob"

In point-of-fact, just by reading this text, you yourselves are also Discordian Popes, if you want to be, or probably even if you don't particularly want to be.  It doesn't really matter...   THAT is the beauty of the system.

"Praise Bob"

Conclusion:

It doesn't really matter.



Suggestion:

If you see someone who is homeless, or suffering, or lost, or in pain and there is nothing you can do to help and you are near broke yourself, then you can bless them.  Ideally, you can stop and make the complete sign of the cross and include a thoughtful and artistic Zinger at the end of the gesture to finalize the blessing.  It helps if you can say, "Bless you brother, I am sorry that life is so difficult."  or "Bless you sister, I am sorry that you are in pain."  or whatever might be appropriate "Bless this moment of eternal transitory loss"  or just "Praise Bob"

Other possible blessing include:

"Hmmm"
"Sorry Sister"
"Peace Brother"
"Good Luck"
"Hang in there"
"Duty now for the future"
"Peace"
"Owwww"
"Ouch"

You can even just imagine yourself doing the whole thing and that is good enough.  Just as long as your remember something, or even if you don't.



"Praise Bob"

copyright (c) 2016

William Schaeffer